Three Simple Rules for Out of the Workplace Antics


                Before you can properly attend an outside of work function with your co worker, you have to have an understanding and be in compliance with the rules of outside the workplace antics. These rules are imperative in keeping good morale not only during the outside shenanigans, but when you return to work with these people.

Rule #1: A Positive Guest List

                Though you may get along with everyone you work with on a professional level, certain personality types should not, under any circumstances be invited. Examples of those who shouldn’t be invited are…

  • No mercy invites. If you have to question the invite, go with your gut and leave them off the list.
  • The target co-worker. Never invite someone JUST to make fun of them. Its bad for office morale and hurting someone’s feelings intention are just an asshole move. Consider this, you smash on a person so much that they show up the following Monday with an AK-47, and all Hell breaks loose. Yeah, so not cool.
  • The anti-social worker who doesn’t do anything but come to work and go home. They don’t have conversations with the crew and give frowns to those who do. If they carry themselves that way at work, why would you want to hang out with them when you don’t HAVE to see them in the first place?
  • The Office Snitch. We’ll touch more on snitching in general later, but in every office there is always someone who just doesn’t know how to keep their mouth shut. Leave them off the list.
  • ALWAYS invite the office crush. It may be difficult to talk to someone you’ve had your eyes on while on company time, however our studies have found that a little liquid courage in conjunction with a nice outfit and some slick, albeit slightly buzzes speak can go a long way in route to a successful love connection.
  • Bad management is the supervisor that one that no one likes. The one who busts you while surfing the internet, or typing a set of rules for outside the workplace antics on a company computer (none of that here, of course *looks around*) or the one just looks like they wouldn’t be fun, because chances are, they aren’t. So do yourself a favor and don’t invite them.
  • The obnoxious/drunken one.  This is the co-worker that is nice, but can be an obnoxious asshole at times when they are SOBER… imagine the ramifications if this person got drunk and started to ramble, snitch or otherwise. Remember, your group is STILL representing the company you work for… so do yourself a favor and NOT invite this person.

Rule #2: No Snitching

  • Even though you may not be the office snitch, you may earn that reputation quickly by talking about the ill shit that goes down off site amongst employees, especially to those who don’t need to know.
  • What happens at the bar after work STAYS at the bar after work. I can’t express this enough.
  • If a co-worker ‘hooks up’ with another, it’s not your place to bring it up at work the next day to ANYONE. Let the couple share their good fortune… or misfortune on their own terms.
  • No camera snitching… always use discretion, not necessarily when taking pictures, but what you upload and tag online. Trust, the office slut grinding on her married co-worker in a ‘good fun’ moment at the club can be damaging to any relationship.
    • Sidebar:  While we’re on the subject of Camera etiquette and uploading… if you know the picture is bad, imagine if it were yourself in it… you wouldn’t post a bad picture. Facebook is a like an open book on people; feelings can be hurt, and no one wants to be the victim of ‘un-friending.’

Rule #3: Be yourself, not your work self.

We all have our work personalities, which are just professional extensions of our normal selves. However an out of the office function is an opportunity to really be you. As we touched upon earlier, you never want to be an embarrassment to your company, but if you’re off the clock, remember, you’re off the clock.  Is colorful language okay? Sure. Is the use of a non phone friendly voice? Absolutely.  As long as you’re not acting stupid, over sexually aggressive or like a total asshole, being yourself is perfectly fine.

That said, EXPRESS YOURSELF. BE YOURSELF.  Have Fun… just don’t f*cking embarrass me!!!

Thanks for reading…


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