That Concierge Life Episode 2: Pimp MY Ride

That Concierge Life

Episode 2: Pimp MY Ride

A month ago I was in a great relationship. We were preparing to go into overdrive in regard to moving in together, I got the hookup on a diamond for a ring in the cut of her choice and we booked a cruise for this fall where I planned on presenting her with said diamond. The end result would have been happily ever after…

RIP White Thunder
My 2007 Ford 500

Today, I find myself at 32 and suddenly single. My car has been totaled due to an accident (same day as the breakup), and am in the midst of working every single hour of overtime available in order to obtain a down payment for the next ride. Then, after that I need to focus on paying these legal fees off to my attorney and finally getting a place of my own, without the crutch of a roommate. 2012 has taken a turn for the challenging, hasn’t it? God works in mysterious ways; I’ve accepted that and am at peace with the hand I was dealt. After all, I survived the car accident and am ALIVE to be writing this blog. How awesome is that?

My destiny of happily ever after is still on the horizon, it’s just going to have take some patience and hard work, which is a challenge I’m definitely up for. My personal trajectory has changed, as I hinted in the Series Finale of Keeping Up.

I’m busting out 10+ hours of OT each week and am only eating decent foods; meanwhile I’ve all but ignored my social life and have gone into a realm of dedication that I’ve never gone before. I got accepted into a new program at work designed to fast track me into management. The workplace has always treated me like the chosen one, so I give 100% to what I do. In fact, on Tuesday I get my first slice of a managerial role as I get to play department supervisor for a shift. Didn’t I tell you that soon they will call me commander? Well, count Tuesday as a precursor to my ascension.

Next week I plan on also purchasing a new car.  It would be my 5th vehicle, but really it would be MY 3rd vehicle. I’ll explain.

The Neon
2000 Plymouth Neon

I LOVED my first car. It was a Gold 2000 Plymouth Neon. I blacked out the windows and upgrades to one of those cool Sony sound systems that disappeared when the vehicle was turned off. It didn’t have power everything, but it has pretty good performance and was affordable and stylish. I remember rolling around with Eddie that year bumping Mystical’s Shake Ya Ass and Cash Money’s #1 Stunna while we, pierced up, young, tipsy and fearless ran the city like bosses!

2dope: Circa 1999-2000 Eddie and Me

My Neon was totaled in my first car accident. I got rear ended during on my way home from work in the rain, sending me flying into the intersection where I got T-boned by an oncoming truck; I walked away with minor injuries to my back. A few weeks later, I took the insurance settlement money and got into my first dream car; a 2001 Pontiac Grand Am.

It was Chicago Bulls red and came with a 6 CD changer to go along with a premium sound system. Though it didn’t have power windows (it was a coupe) I got my first clicker for the door locks and alarm. Yeah, I was feeling myself with this one. Along with it being a perfect match for my ego, I picked up the infamous 2dope 1 license plate that has occupied my every car since. That car was my pride and joy… until I got with the woman I eventually married.  Shortly after moving in together, her car bit the dust and I had to share. No longer was it the cool early 20’s car of Showtorious, it was OUR car. Soon, her sister came along to move with us. Of course, she was carless too. My car went from having low mileage and being clean to complete disaster status. By the 3rd year I was close to 60,000 miles and I was struggling to maintain it. Though the three of us shared my car I could never get them to actually help take care of that piece. There I go, being too nice. The destruction of my Grand Am should have told me something about that relationship, because I divorced her less than 2 years into our marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t divorce her due to the car—- the girl was certifiably insane, THAT is why I divorced her.

2001 Pontiac Grand Am

In 2006 the Grand Am was on its last legs. The interior looked like death, it had a serious misfire problem and the check engine light would not go off. I had a diagnostic done to it and there was about $1800 in repairs to do JUST to get the light off. At the same time, that $1800 wouldn’t help the value of it OR assist me in paying registration which was coming due within a matter of days. I traded it.

I wanted to get out of living with my parents post divorce, so I needed something economical and easy on gas mileage. The 2007 Focus caught my eye and short of a sun roof it was fully loaded AND 3% under invoice as I worked for Ford Credit at the time. I picked it up on September 1st, 2006. I loved the concept of that car. It pulled 34 miles to the gallon, has a decent sound system and was cheap on the maintenance. What I didn’t realize however was that it was the last of a dying breed of Ford vehicles; as evidenced by its complete redesign for 2008 to go along with Ford’s new quality strategy. Suddenly, I felt like I got duped into taking off their inventory. Though I dubbed it as the Batmobile due to my time with the Justice League of Las Vegas, it never felt like ME… it was just another car to get me from point A to B.

Over the next 4 years, my armrest broke, seat lost shape and the engine became a liability. The transmission slowly began to slip and eventually the engine sounded like that of a diesel truck. It wasn’t a pretty picture. Since I had no extended warranty and all the problems started AFTER 36,000 miles I was stuck in it. Eventually I stopped caring.

2007 Ford Focus

I still washed it and tried to do right by it, but I just couldn’t afford to do all the repairs. Every time I went to the shop for an oil change it was a $600 or more estimate. Also my rear brakes were getting to the point where it was hard to stop. It would have been another $300 to change them.

I tried to trade that sucker twice in 2011. Once in June and again in November; in June I was successful, but I turned down the deal as it was for a Nissan Frontier, a truck I had no desire to keep. It would have ended up costing me a house note if I stayed in that vehicle. I gave it up and unhappily took my Focus back.

With the Focus on its last legs, I had to come up with a plan. I needed something bigger, yet more affordable. I had a baby on the way and my girlfriend had a toddler. The child seat in the Focus was a mess due to the lack of backseat space. TWO child seats would have been a horrible thing. I also wanted more of a trunk, as I had the hatchback model.

After being told I had too much negative equity in my Focus, I got desperate and had to make moves. I conjured up a cool plan to get another car and I would simple GIVE the Focus back to Ford; or a voluntary repossession. I would use a bad credit dealer, get into something decent based on my income and just keep it moving. What I got was a substantial upgrade, a 2007 Ford 500. Though it was the same year as my Focus, it was HUGE, had a more powerful engine and the same sound system. Though it lacked the flair I was used to in my prior cars, I was happy as this was the car that would become my first FAMILY vehicle. We could get the kids in there, everything was powered up for convenience and the trunk was formidable for FAMILY grocery shopping. It was perfect! So what the gas would be a burden, as a family we could handle this. It was only a matter of time until my girl started work and we’d be sharing responsibilities. While she’d handle the car situation, I’d hold down the house. It was going to work out!

Now, about that SINGLE thing again:  As noted in paragraph #2… I’m single again and the Ford 500 has been totaled. Sounds like Hell to some people, but like I said my destiny is happily ever after; Jesus says so. If he didn’t, he could have taken my life on May 3rd WITHOUT allowing me to see the Avengers that night. Not only did I get up out of the hospital in time for the midnight showing of the Avengers, he’s given me all kinds of opportunities professionally, he’s introduced me to a few new people and he’s instilled that DRIVE in me to not only be me again, but to become the ULTIMATE Showtorious. I’ve been watching too much Marvel Universe, I know.

Umm… no.

Suddenly, everything is getting better and so am I. I’m not worried about another relationship at the moment and I’m no longer concerned with making babies. I’m in it for ME. My mistake was that I was looking for someone to COMPLETE ME.

No mortal should complete another. You should complete yourself and then when someone comes along, they should COMPLEMENT you; as together two people who are complete, confident, secure and happy are UNSTOPPABLE… especially when GOD is part of each of your completions.

When I’m complete, along with MY new car, MY new home and MY shiny new COMMANDER title at work then maybe I’ll be interested in something again.  Until then I’m having a ‘me party’ and I’m the life of it!

So, what type of car says Ultimate Showtorious? Well, first of all— let’s lose that Ultimate tag… sounds weird. I will let you call me Showtorious Prime. Just not in public… on Twitter and stuff. LOL 

I’ve been rolling around in a 2012 Chevy Malibu and OH MY GOODNESS; it’s everything I ever wanted in a car, except for the leather seats… not a fan. Other than that, it’s has power everything, satellite radio, an auxiliary audio port with Bose sound system and a SUN ROOF!

I always wanted a sun roof. If my next car doesn’t have a sun roof, then it better be pretty amazing! My top choices are said Malibu, a Nissan Juke or Altima and maybe a Sentra. I’d even deal with a pre owned Lexus, as it’s been a goal of mine for a while. I got offered a 2008 Lexus IS350 today for $14,995. Sick!

Of course, my credit is going to dictate what I actually end up with. It’s damaged, but without a current car loan (after the payoff is complete) and the income I pull every month I shouldn’t have an issue getting approved, albeit with a nasty interest rate. Not super concerned though, as long as the payment is right and I’m comfortable with the vehicle.

The next few weeks are definitely going to be an interesting ride. Maybe I should film it and throw it on Youtube… A Showtoriously Authentic return? Hmmm… we’ll see. Till then you know where to find me. Right here… and on Twitter and Instagram @Showtorious.




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