*The Showtorious Relationship Series*
Episode 2: The Choice of Loneliness
Forgive me in advance if this comes off harsh; then again these are my opinions and everyone is welcome to their own.
I have a lot of friends who tend to echo a similar sentiment. I’m single and lonely. As far as being single goes, it’s just like that sometimes. You either embrace your freedom or continue the search for the next flavor the month or your ultimate partner in life.
As far as lonely goes; is this feeling really a sentence or does it stem from our own actions… or lack thereof.
Mind you, when I speak of loneliness, I’m not speaking on innocent people behind bars or those with terminal diseases to where they are forced into seclusion. I’m talking about regular, capable adults. I’m also not speaking for the mental/clinically depressed because that would also fall into the disease category. I’m talking about the regular Joe/Jane’s sometimes desperate desire to be desired and why their loneliness is perhaps misguided.
Yes, we all agree that sleeping alongside someone is more comfortable and yes, a party of two at the movies is a blast, but isn’t flat out refusing to attempt a solo appearance in a sense, shortchanging yourself?
I have no problem eating alone and being cool with it. I’m saving money and I can actually better afford to see that movie after I eat, alone… then have enough to go get drinks, alone again.
Here’s the kicker though, what’s stopping me from creating new friends at any of these establishments?
What WOULD stop me? Myself.
If you isolate yourself from people purposely, you in a sense have made the CHOICE to be lonely.
Why do folks isolate themselves? The fear of rejection comes to mind immediately. Maybe it’s just my mindset, but I feel that if someone rejects me then why should it get me down? Frankly, if my personality isn’t good enough for other people then f*ck them, I am fully capable of becoming the life of my own damn party. Doing me publicly is a recipe for good times.
My confidence is radiantly radioactive; the closer you are to me the more likely my personality will infect you. An open mind works wonders and a conversation with an open mind can work miracles. Embrace everyone and they’ll embrace you.
Say with me again: Confidence is sexy.
I went this route in episode two because it is resonates directly with episode one, which dealt with loving yourself. I went this route because it’s even DEEPER than seeking the acceptance of another person. There’s another level of loneliness that has nothing to do with other people. It’s a self loneliness that I’m speaking of.
You ever feel lonely even in a relationship? Though your partner has responsibilities to show you attention and affections, it’s not your partner’s fault that you have that void. THAT is on you. If they aren’t doing the job right it’s in your best interests as a couple to either fix the problem or CHANGE partners.
If it cmes down to it, during the process of change, it shouldn’t be a terrible experience unless you allow it to be.
Quite honestly, if you love yourself the way you should then being alone shouldn’t bother you. Why do you need another person to define your happiness?
I’m not saying anything negative about wanting a relationship, but shouldn’t your first priority be the relationship with yourself? You, first and foremost are the best company that YOU can ask for. If you can’t stand being with yourself, by yourself, then why would anybody else want to deal with you?
Do you understand why it’s so important to love yourself? If you choose NOT to truly love yourself, then you have no hope in ever finding true love. What you’re going to get is pity love, tainted love and false love from predators looking to take advantage of what you have and can’t appreciate; what they want and what you’ll give because your self esteem is lacking so much that you require validation of a companion to fill the void that should be filled with your own love.
Can I get a freaking witness? *Exhales*
Ever wonder how I Wolverine heal my way out of breakups? *singing* “Can’t nobody hurt my pride, can’t nobody hold me down oh no… I got to keep on moving!”
Please, I love myself way too much to let ANYONE leave me down on myself.
It’s a process, I know. Like I said in episode one however, if you don’t love yourself, then CHANGE yourself. If you decide to not embrace the positives of yourself or not push for the way of life that you desire to fill that void, then you my friend, have in fact isolated yourself FROM yourself and are just a shell of what you could be but chose NOT to. I don’t know about you, but choosing to live inside a shell sounds pretty lonely to me. Bad choice, in my opinion.
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