A year ago I was without direction. Living check to check, stagnant in my writing career, stagnant in my paying career and seemingly stagnant in life. My wages got garnished… had issues keeping gas in my tank. With a 30 mile round trip commute, you can imagine how hard that is when your check to check living had been cut by nearly $800 a month… sold my Xbox 360 and all my jewelry, ate tuna and ramen for days…. but I woke up each and every day throughout.
I got depressed. Kept smiling publicly, but I gained all my pre birthday weight back… my clothes stopped fitting right. I didn’t care for myself. I still woke up each and every day throughout.
I lost my good friend of several years on some female animosity… she was also carrying my unborn daughter Aaliyah. We lost her in a car accident… So I lost my good friend and our daughter. The girl who had beef with her didn’t last either… I still woke up each and every day throughout the pain.
Today I have a full tank of gas in my car and albeit not much, money in my savings account. I’m slowly starting to pay back those angels in my life who were there for me when I was down. Today, I am the first employee at my hotel to hold down three departments at one time like a skilled assassin. I’m also cross trained in about 8 different hospitality skillsets so I can back up or move around if needed. I actually feel wanted and dare I say, important to everyone around me. Its funny, because I walk around saying bluntly that I’m the best in the world at work to motivate my friends. With all the new responsibilities I’m getting, I think management may believe that too. 😉 My industry future looks bright!
Mariah and I are good friends again and are making plans to visit each other soon. I also have patched things up with my sister in law, whom I also had a volatile relationship with. Going toe to toe in paint balling solves all problems!
Oh, and I’m down 30 pounds and have stopped dieting. I just changed my entire lifestyle. Eating to live; no longer living to eat. I plan on never getting heavier again!
I plan on getting my own place soon. In it, I’ll have a new Xbox 360 and a new computer. Before I turn 36 I will have two books in stores, a Cartier watch on my wrist and the girl of my dreams with a ring on her finger, barefoot and pregnant… seriously.
Why am I so confident? Its because I AM THE BEST IN THE WORLD! No, I’m not saying that I’m better than any other individual, I’m saying I’m the best me that I can be and I know what I’m capable of. I also know that God has me in his light and is guiding me in the right direction.
The world may seem like its crashing down around you at times, but the Lord never gives you more than you can handle.
All kinds of bad things happen, but He keeps waking you up for a reason! It’s not to make you suffer; its to help you endure, learn and get stronger until its your turn for that greatness inside you to shine!
Remember, as long as you keep waking up God hasn’t given up on you. It may be a long, challenging ride, but don’t give up on yourself and don’t give up on Him.
Not trying to be preachy because you know that’s not my style… but I’ve been through some real shit in life and am living proof that as long as you keep waking up everyday, you are capable of recovery and greatness in any aspect of life.
Remember that; and if you need more motivation to believe than just waking up to see another day then well, I still have that Captain America shield I can hurl at your chest to snap you out of your punk ass feelings, soldier. Friends, family, Costars… I love you all. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.