A Career in Body Part Disposal? #MedicalWaste

My bloody foot is killing me. It’s been killing me for about a month now, actually.

I’d like to think it’s healing but I’m not a doctor. Nor do I want to come out of pocket with another copay. I just sold my soul to get a personal loan for my surgery copay, so understand my salty disposition.

Besides, all they are going to do anyway is make me wear a boot and give me pain killers. I have a bunch of those already, thank you. Can’t knock the Tramadol/Ibuprofen 800 combo, especially when topped with a Flexeril (Cyclobenzaprine). As Chris Jericho would say, ‘YEAH BOY!’

The GOAL however is to get off these pills and to be pain free, naturally. Thus the decision we spoke on last week. Things are coming together right now for my future. A week from tomorrow I’ll be getting a chest x ray, an EKG and a battery of blood work done per my preoperative checklist.

Cool thing is I’m not even nervous.

Psyche evaluation, shit. Bring it on, doc! I’ve never been as mentally prepared as I am RIGHT NOW. I watched the surgery this morning on YouTube, then promptly Googled what happens to the part of the stomach that they remove. In a perfect world, they’d throw it in a cooler and let me take it home but as it turns out there is a medical waste disposal service that handles the gruesome task.

I think I know where I’m applying when my hotel career runs its course.

But yes, I have meal plans, supplements and all kinds of ill shit lined up for my post operation recovery. Can these two months pass any faster???

I’m ready to start my new life…

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