Sixty Shades of the Showtorious V.S.G.

My sincerest apologies for the delay; adulting can be such a burden on free time and blogging effectively. So here we are: Today is day 60! How do I celebrate? The only way  I know how. You remember how these go; 60 facts relevant to my current life, starting now.

Sixty Shades of the Showtorious V.S.G.

  1. I’ve lost 61 pounds so far. That’s a shitload of weight for two months. I’m not complaining!
  2. 4 pants sizes lower (46/48ish to 42/44ish)
  3. No idea how many actual inches lost in the upper body but all my clothes from 2009 seem to be fitting again.
  4. Shopping still sucks but I won’t have this problem in about 30 days. I say that because they don’t make size 43 pants and I refuse to buy more 44’s or walk around with my nutsack squeezed into size 42 pants.
  5. I ALMOST tried on a pair of jeans for the first time in like 2 years last week. I’ll still probably never like them but a jersey looks better over black jeans than black slacks.
  6. I didn’t have any actual surgical pain. All my pains were from gas, which is a common side effect and from trying to drink water, which is a bit painful when going down for a few days.
  7. I used up all my pain meds in the first couple weeks, not because of any pain but to sleep better. It was very uncomfortable sleeping on my back and side. I think it was mental. Lortab killed all that noise, though.
  8. To celebrate hitting the 50 mark a week and a half ago(on like day 50) I bought myself a PlayStation 4. 
  9. Post bariatric vitamins are a racket but you need to supplement somehow. I’ve heard so many mixed stories of what types to buy and whatever but I’ve found that my $20 bottle of Optisource chewable vitamins works just as well as $50 Bariatric Advantage joints. Do your research, people!
  10. I took 7 days of work off following my surgery but in a perfect world I would have taken 10 days.
  11. I’m immune to Whiskey, I think. I drank Jack straight this past weekend and had no buzz. Also woke up a pound lighter.
  12. I haven’t tried bread yet. I don’t miss it either; chew it Oprah!
  13. I HAVE tried low carb, high fiber wraps though. Tasty for 100 calories and 12 net carbs.
  14. The gym is definitely more fun when you’re less than 300 pounds.
  15. My Instagram is public now… lots of new followers and love. The VSG community has been a super positive part of my life. Follow me @Showtoriousimg_3334
  16. I haven’t thrown up at all since my surgery.
  17. Iced water goes down much better than room temperature water.
  18. Snapple light > Crystal Light
  19. Isopure was only good for the first few days, post op. It has 40 grams of protein in them and they were only good for obtaining those goals. Now, I think Isopure tastes like antifreeze. Not that I’ve guzzled antifreeze before but I would imagine that’s what that shit would taste like.
  20. Acid reflux is the shits. I never had it before surgery and now I’m on a daily pill. Will try to wean myself off it eventually but spicy foods are just way too good.
  21. Hot sauce is okay, by the way. Processes nicely.
  22. Fast food is possible if you know what to order. For instance: Del Taco makes a bean bowl for .89 that is very filling and will take care of your fiber needs for the day. Also, Panda Express’s beef and broccoli can be purchased as a small entrée. Packed with nutrients and kills that pseudo Chinese craving. I say pseudo because lets be 100% real… PANDA is not real Chinese cuisine.
  23. I don’t make fast foods a habit, though. I’d rather cook at home. Speaking of…
  24. I’ve actually gotten better as a chef. I figure that if you’re going to eat small amounts, you’d better LOVE what you’re putting into your body. So I’ve turned it up a notch when it comes to seasoning and care in preparation.
  25. I have no real restrictions on eating; I just choose to eat better now. The rest of my life will be dedicated to optimization of my body and encouraging other to do the same with or without surgery.
  26. My left man-boob is bigger than my right. I’m going to actually try the shake-weight during down time to try to correct that.
  27. My shoe size has gone down by one… I have to make due for a while though because shoes are expensive.
  28. But hey, if you’re trying to donate to the cause you can send money through Facebook messenger now! #Science
  29. I wear size 11 shoes. I don’t like Converse, Adidas are too narrow for me and anything other than Air Max or Jordan (Team) isn’t cool for me. The fashion Jordan shoes have been good to me.
  30. My hair is still intact. In fact, the shit is growing faster.
  31. My goal is to be healthy and happy. I also want to shop for clothes in the cheap department stores, wear pop culture, comic and band t-shirts and be able to say let me get that size XL and not have to try it on first.
  32. I want to shop at H&M; not because their clothes are goal-quality shit but because I can.
  33. G by Guess though… Goal quality shit!
  34. I want to start wearing suits to work every day, like Ghost in power. Except I won’t leave my hot wife for an old halfway busted fling. Come on now… Angela vs. Tasha Seriously?
  35. I plan on trying Tequila on my birthday. The bottle is already in the freezer. My birthday is in July.
  36. I still dislike wearing shoes. Flip flop season is coming. Yeah, I rock those.
  37. Pool season too! I may actually take my shirt off at the pool! In October, that is.
  38. Cosmopolitan’s club, Marquee has a DOME that they put over their day club so we can swim in 85 degree temps late in the fall and through the winter! I’ll be nice and 100+ pounds lost by then, hopefully!
  39. Sex is better when you’re not 300 pounds. That is all.
  40. Okay, almost… your junk gets bigger too when you’re not 300 pounds.
  41. You also last a lot longer when you’re not 300 pounds. By lasting I’m not talking orgasms and stuff but you can be more physical and not wear your body out or feel like you were in a car wreck when you were just in fact, making love to your wife.
  42. I’m hardly ever hungry anymore.
  43. I have to remind myself to eat at times.
  44. Like right now… I forgot to take my vitamin. I need four per day.
  45. I carry water everywhere I go.
  46. My car is a lot cleaner now that I don’t snack.
  47. Salads go down so nicely, but a garden salad isn’t worth a damn to bariatric patient. Now, add eggs, chicken/beef or any kind of extra protein to it (you know the stuff that ADDS calories) and it regains nutritional value.
  48. I eat very slowly; I literally chew each spoonful for 30 seconds. I even chew soft stuff, like eggs.
  49. The max I can take down in a setting is about 3 ounces. The restriction is real. All that shit they talk about in the pre-op classes is legit. Small plates are your friend.
  50. Tapas are your friend too.
  51. I’ve shifted my restaurant plans to include those, actually.
  52. I don’t miss eating dessert.
  53. At 75 pounds, I’m getting myself a new WWE Championship belt.
  54. I’m also going to do a striptease for my wife. LOL
  55. I hope to be down a cool 100 by the end of the year. If I make it earlier, cool. If not, I know I’ll have it off by December. Just in time for winter shopping.
  56. I also plan on going to Disneyworld to celebrate. Likely by or before 100 pounds.
  57. I’m probably going to cry at 100 pounds.
  58. I’ll dry my tears on my XL T shirt, too. Aha!
  59. I’ve met some really cool people who have also gone on this type of weight loss journey; changing my life, really.
  60. The Bulls are back in the playoffs… that jersey I bought before my wedding is looking really good on me now! We’ll leave on that note.

2 thoughts on “Sixty Shades of the Showtorious V.S.G.

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