The Showtorious Walt Disney World Series

The last time we talked Disney here in Showtorious Unplugged, it was a two part series which delved into the must see/must eats of Disneyland and conquering the mighty park in 8 hours. Both were well received.

Today we start over. It’s not a trip to California though; my girl and I are planning a trip to Walt Disney World in Florida. I haven’t been to the big show since 2005 and it feels so overdue.

I’ve been there twice, actually. The first time was in 2004 as a surprise wedding gift and then again in 2005. The first time I traveled there, I was completely overwhelmed by the place, especially since I was about 390something pounds.

If you’re wondering what weight has to do with a Disney trip, let me tell you. Being obese is the worst thing you can be when visiting the big resort. 400 pounders just don’t get around very easily. I was mess. To make matters worse, I wore cheap Payless sandals to Epcot on day one.

I’ll let you marinate on that scenario for a moment. I wore cheap, wood bottomed sandals on my flat feet to EPCOT on day one.

My Disney veterans know how annoying Epcot can be with the wrong shoes on. The place is HUGE. To add that kind of weight just extenuates the circumstances. By the time we finished the day, I could barely walk. I remember stumbling back into our room at Port Orleans Riverside and collapsing into the bathroom tub, where I had to soak for an hour before even THINKING about actually washing up. I was unable to walk without substantial pain for about three days.

I was such a novice. Then again, I had never really been on a real vacation before. I thought my outfit was fine beforehand.

The next day I made it a point to wear my sneakers. Not being a fan of shoes in general, I packed my good Reebok flip flops into my backpack for the day so I was prepared to switch a couple times in case I got tired of the foot closure. The shoe switch prep is a practice I’ve adopted for all Disney trips since that day.

During my return in 2005, not only was the shoe game up to par, but my cardio was slowly getting together. I had lost maybe about 25 pounds before making my return that year. Still big and uncomfortable, but as least I didn’t have knee issues throughout the duration of my stay.

Fast forward to today. I’m certainly not 390 pounds anymore. I’m sub-300 actually. I have some ways to go to reach my goal of 220 pounds of pure milk chocolate but if I went to Disney World today, I could confidently navigate the parks without physical limitations. Like all my trips, I plan on working Disney World into a science.

When I return to Disney World, I plan on being in the best shape of my life. I’m already nice and 55 pounds down on the journey so far, but by February next year, I’ll easily be there. Believe it or not, getting into Disney shape is the easy part.

Lots of things have changed since I’ve last visited the World Resort. For instance, Everest, which was under construction back in the day, is alive in kicking inside Asia at Animal Kingdom. Star Tours has been revamped into a 3D experience and the Magic Kingdom has opened New Fantasyland, a significant upgrade from its predecessor. Those items are just the tip of the iceberg, I have my work cut out for me.

I have to re-educate myself on all things Walt Disney World. I classify myself as a level 4 Disneyland expert (I lost a level due to an incomplete in the California Adventure park – I haven’t been on the Cars Land rides because they were CRAZY during the time I went, Grand Opening weekend.) and in 2005 I classified myself as a level 5 Disney World expert.

Today I’m a level 3 expert and that’s mostly because a lot can change in 8 years; I feel that if I don’t go back soon I’ll lose my expert classification all together.

The good news though, is that while I re-educate myself I’ll be sharing the wealth of knowledge that I obtain with you, my friendly readers. I’ve been known for my meticulous planning when it comes to vacations so I hope you enjoy as I blog about all things Disney for a few months.

The plan is to cover hotel options, transportation, food, nightlife, airfare planning, budget and of course the parks! Including the water parks and the Downtown Disney experience, there are 7 main areas of the resort to cover. Lots to be intimidated by for a first timer, I know. The time gap between trips for me makes it feel like I’m going for the first time all over again. I’m excited already.  I hope you enjoy the Showtorious Walt Disney World Series, coming soon to Showtorious Unplugged.

P.S. – You may learn a few things about planning a Las Vegas trip along the way, as a supplement to my Disney travel blogging. Think of it a bonus. After all, Vegas’ greatest concierge turned Resort gun-for-hire knows a few things about his city. 😉

Diary of a Mad Bulls Fan: 2013 Season Finale

Season Finale: NBA Finals Observations

There is one more game left in the NBA season. The San Antonio Spurs and the Miami Heat are going into game seven.

San Antonio Observations:

• Tim Duncan left is all on the floor in game 6; first ballot Hall of Fame player win or lose. A fifth ring would be a great way to retire.
• A caller on Jim Rome said it best, at this point of his career Manu Ginobli is only decent every 3rd or 4th game. He had a stellar game 5, but in game 6 he had 8 turnovers and lacked aggression on offense. Horrible.
• Tony Parker isn’t Michael Jordan, so he should stop trying to be. A great player yes and clutch all day, but that three in overtime wasn’t needed and he could have done more to get others involved.
• If San Antonio wins, there will be changes but they will be in playoff contention for a while longer. Gregg Popovich is a great coach, arguably better than Phil Jackson in my opinion considering the talent he’s had to work with and I just don’t see him ending his greatness on the bench.
• If San Antonio loses, they’ll be alright.

Miami Heat Observations:

• Take Lebron James off this team and you have the Milwaukee Bucks. James struggled for three quarters, but was absolutely dominant in the 4th on his way to a triple-double.
• Lebron should go ahead and shave his head and just leave the headband off. It seemed like he came alive even more when he lost the hairpiece.
• All jokes aside, Chris Bosh was clutch tonight where it mattered. He wasn’t an offensive threat, but he was active on rebounds and the block at the end was a great play.
• Ray Allen is the greatest three point shooter of all time, don’t forget that.
• If Miami pulls it out in game 7, someone needs to kindly sit Dwayne Wade down, thank him for his service and amnesty him into retirement. Sad for Heat fans, but their championship window is closed after Thursday if they don’t add more quality to their lineup. Wade is no longer an elite player and short of one great game in the finals, he’s been terrible throughout the playoffs.
• If Miami loses, Pay Riley is going to blow the team up. Bosh and Wade are both expendable. If Riley has an opportunity to ship Bosh off and Amnesty Wade it would clear up enough room to bring in CP3 and Dwight Howard. Pair them up with Lebron James and it could get real scary. Unrealistic as all Hell, but I’m just saying.

Overall Observations:

• It took these teams 6 games to put on an exciting one. I’ll be glad when this finals series is over.
• The NHL Playoffs >>> NBA Playoffs this year.
• I’m going to watch my Bulls in the Summer League this year.
• ABC/ESPN is being hated on by Fox Sports because they don’t have the NBA on a national level. They’ve even gone as far as to claim that the games are fixed to go to seven games.
• To Fox’s credit ABC/ESPN’s coverage of the NBA is abysmal.
• I miss the NBA on NBC. They shit on ABC, ESPN, Turner and everything Fox does including Football… and the John Tesh theme song? I’m going to play that song somewhere during my wedding.
• Bulls vs. Thunder in the finals next year. Bulls in 5, by the way.

Summer League coverage on deck. Eff your team, it’s all about the Bulls.

-Showtorious